Well, I took Eli fishing this afternoon. It rained on us, hard. The wind was blowing too, and we both got really cold. But we tried hard to catch the dang fish that were jumping all over the place. I was literally passing my bait right in front of their faces. I know it. But I wasn't doing it well. I think I've figured out the solution, and only the next batch of pictures will tell. :)

So, I just want to say that I know Heavenly Father will prepare the way. One of my biggest concerns right now is getting a job. That really matters for this family, getting an income. But I'm really not worried, despite the stress of getting rejected, etc. People are really, really dumb for not hiring me. Someone will make the right choice. :) And I'll look forward to seeing the others on the other side of the courtroom.

Also, spending time with families is so important, it just has to be possible. Another thing I'm super stressed about is the Jessup Moot Court Competition coming up. That has been one of the worst experiences of my life, both because its hard, and because of laziness of a teammate. I will refrain, except to say that I will NEVER tolerate such in my professional career, whether from an associate, a partner, or even a judge. But back to the point, who cares about a stupid competition anyhow. I mean, I do, and I have sacrificed my life for the past few months because I actually want to do better than everyone else. But in reality, this whole thing is SO worthless that I can't believe I lost even a minute of sleep over it, let alone the hours and hours that I actually have.

What isn't worthless is my family. So I went and bought a cheap fishing pole from Wal-Mart, and scheduled a "date" with Eli. Wesley will be next week. I'm a little worried about what we might actually catch, see below, but I figure we'll at least have a little bit of adventure in the process. Also, I've been spending some actual time working on my boat, and I'm in the final stages I think. SO its about time that my family comes back to the top of the list. In full force.

I took this as we were walking on the pier. What do you do if you catch one of these? They pulled the hook out, and tossed it back, but it was floppin' and smackin' and stingin' all over the place. What if I catch a shark?

I went swimming this morning (early AM, and not the above pictures) in some pretty good chop... for the Gulf, at least. Anyhow, it was fun and I didn't get eaten by a shark. But the rest of the day was read, meeting, read, class, and the like. Then I was late to dinner, which always ruins Sierra's day. Bummer. I'll need to make it up somehow. At least there aren't any icicles hanging from the trees around the temple any more. That was pretty depressing.

Its pretty hard to find the balance right now, in all the things I'm doing. Family has been relegated to 'see ya when I can see ya' which is nowhere near where it should be. You know you're getting pretty lame when the coolest thing you've done with your family recently is drive down the highway looking for alligators.

But life is still good, and I love it. I'll be done with this schooly nonsense soon enough. Needless to say, I'll be grateful. Here are some more random, hopefully pretty pictures.

Finished. Time to revive some part of me that is not law school.

I apologize, but this post became very random. But hey, it was sparked by an email I wrote to Dan Myers yesterday, coupled with a dream of old friends I had last night, so OF COURSE its gonna be random:

One more exam and this semester is finished. Unfortunately I'll be spending a significant portion of break writing two 50 page memorials for the Jessup International Law competition I somehow got duped into. Not only is it really complicated law, and far afield from my precious patents, but its also just different. I won't call the judges "Your Honor" but rather "Your Excellency"... Sometimes I feel like our country has too much pride, and that we need to change so badly, but things like this remind me of how lucky I am to be a citizen of the United States of America.

Again and again I take for granted that this nation was founded by noble men possessing honor, upon true principles of freedom and light. Our nation DOES deserve a high degree of reverence, especially when one considers the hollow, self-honored aristocracy of "excellency" that continues to hold sway in the outside world.

Only a few months ago I was in DC, and I felt so much awe and gratitude for the amazing country that God literally shaped with his own hands. And oh how fast those memories fade, being replaced so quickly with silly things like the laws of intellectual property or evidence. Alma and his progeny spoke truly in their counsel to remember, remember.

Anyhow, I had a dream last night of old friends, and I woke up this morning feeling all sorts of ways, happy for having such good friends in my life, sad for having not talked to so many of them for so long, anxious not only about all the grades I'm going to receive shortly but also about choices made very long ago, and not so long ago.

...I'm not describing this very well, because it sounds negative, when really its refreshing to feel strong emotion after weeks of just grinding away at the books. And although I haven't made sense of life as a whole, or the dream I had, I realized I just need to remember. I need to remember the morning I was vacuuming the Math Lab in the Talmadge building, when I felt the Spirit so strongly reassuring me of this course in life. I need to remember the brief, quite moments that I have had even in the last two weeks, when I have come home at 2AM and softly checked on my sleeping sons, and realized how precious a gift I have been given. I need to remember the moments in the temple when I made specific covenants with God, promising to obey his laws.

Honestly, this whole blog is premised on my desire to adventurize everything, because literally I desire to have real, exhausting, dirty adventures a THOUSAND times more than money or fame or fancy things. But when I properly contemplate life, adventure is silly when it stands next to the Kingdom of God. Or maybe more properly said, the adventure that is the Kingdom of God far exceeds any mountain or ocean that is there to enjoy. That is why this nation is so amazing, because it is the foundation upon which this kingdom is built. It was graced with the trailing clouds of glory of the restoration. I feel strongly that this nation is the mountain out of which the Church was cut without hands. And it is an adventure worthy to fill the whole earth.

God Lives, and those who know it have so much to be grateful for. Work hard, there is much to do. I hope that there are plenty of gritty adventures for me and my family to enjoy. Just remember.

I suppose its no big deal to get your pictures on Google Earth, but I was pretty happy that most of mine have been chosen. See http://www.panoramio.com/user/1262312

But I admit my photography is pretty lame when compared with Matt Beatty. See http://mooncowboy.blogspot.com and more particularly http://www.flickr.com/photos/10215684@N00

THE STORY OF MY FREE SONY ERICSSON LAPTOP

So I got a MRSA infection in my elbow. My elbow was killing me one evening, so I went and got it checked. They took an X-ray, and then concluded that my Bursa was inflamed because of a really cool bone spur I have... Seriously, it looks like I'm evolving into a Pterodactyl or something. I also had a little bit of cracked skin on my elbow, from being in UT the last weekend, so they gave me some worthless antibiotic (actually its Keflex, so its not exactly worthless, but it does nothing for what I got)...

Anyhow, the next day my elbow was super red and very sore, and that night I had a fever. John Watson was dropping off a book or something and made a funny comment about me wearing a sweatshirt in this ridiculously warm Florida weather. The next day the red/purpleness had spread in a uniform circle away from my cracked elbow, and it was as swollen as all get up. SO I called Nathan Kelsey. Que trumpets.

He asked me if it 'crackled' to the touch, and for a second I thought it did. Luckily I was wrong because I probably would have had to amputate my arm had I been correct. Nate was effective at convincing me to go to the doctor, so I did that night. They took about a gallon of blood for cultures, and said that I had "Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus." This article about one particular MRSA was my first result, and it is not cool. MOM, DO NOT READ THAT ARTICLE, I DIDN'T CATCH STRAIN USA600. After they told me "MRSA is all over down here," I got an IV of Vancomycin, and a subscription for Sulfamethoxazole (SP?)... Little did the docs know that I'd had all this stuff before with Dr. Ey...

So I went home with instuctions to come back in 24 hours. I did so, and was there until 5 AM getting another, bigger dose of Vancomycin, and a big dose of Levafloxcin (?...that might be totally wrong). I was sent home with another perscription for Doxycilin (?)...

As a side note, while I was there for that really long night, I had a 'roomate' who died. I never got to see her face so I can't tell how old she was, but she had breast cancer which had metastacized. She had been sitting up and talking to the EMTs on the way to the hospital, complaining of difficulty in breathing. But she passed out before she got to the hospital, and then went into cardiac arrest right when she got to the room. They tried soooo hard not to let her die, with epinephrine, and something else that starts with an 'A', and with the defribrillator, and then just CPR for like half an hour. They had pulled a curtain between us, but literally I was about 4 feet away while all of this was going on.

After she died, one of the nurses asked if I wanted to go sit in the hall on a different bed, and I said sure, because in my head I thought it would be wierd to have said "No, I want to hang out with the dead body while the coroner comes to clean up..." But it was nice to get away from the noise of hospital procedure, and contemplate the momentous event that had just happened to someone of close proximity. Its been a long time since I've been forced to think about death. I am really grateful for the times in my life that I have had to think about it. It changed who I am, I think in a really good way. It makes me sad to think how those memories have faded, and how I have progressed back to being my dumb, selfish, short-sighted self over the last 5 or so years.

Anyhow, the part of that lady's death that affected me the most was the moment her husband showed up. He was an elderly man, skinny with very dark eyes, and probably a foot shorter than me. He walked in about five minutes after they had stopped CPR. He had gotten dressed and had a plastic grocery bag with a change of clothes for his wife, along with her medicine (a couple of prescriptions). He was so quiet, and when they told him that he had passed away he nodded with a frown, and then nodded to a few more of their statements. I was about 15 feet away, but I tried not to blatantly stare, and when he walked away, he didn't notice me. He talked with the doctors for like two minutes, and then he walked away for a while.

As he was walking past me, I saw his lip quivering, and then he turned down a hall out of the view of the doctors, but in my full view, and I watched from behind as he started wiping his eyes. Then he turned and I didn't see him for like half an hour. I wish I had shared this sooner, because I feel like I'm Frost, telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence... But the next day, I was bawling all through sacrament meeting. And then John Watson came over to grab some books after church, and I tried to tell him about my night, and I almost started all over. The last time I cried that hard was when I tried to tell Sierra the things Ben had shared with me about his crash. I couldn't even get one sentence out without having to stop for like 30 seconds while I cried. This wasn't at all that bad, because Ben is one of my best friends and this elderly gentleman was just a stranger, but I felt so much sadness for him. And it probably also has to do with the fact that I was on like 3 hours of sleep, and was loaded up with crazy antibiotics that tax the soul.

Let me be clear, aside from all machismo, I don't fear my own death. I'm OK with it, because I've accepted the fact that our hearts, though stout and brave, still, like muffled drums, are beating funeral marches to the grave. I'm actually really excited for the experience, however weird that may sound. BUT, death is of necessity accompanied by separation. The separation of body and spirit is alright, but the separation of me from my loved ones, especially from Sierra, is an unbearable thought, and when I am forced to contemplate THAT, I get weepy.

Sorry for the cheese, but its the truth. Poor Josh Tillotson came up to me after sacrament meeting that day, I think because he wanted to comfort me. But the real comfort comes from the Restored Gospel. Families can be eternal, and this brings peace...

SO what about the laptop? Well, sometime during or immediately after this experience, I opened my email because I was afraid I was missing some meeting for one of the organizations in which I am a Vice President, and I saw a forwarded email for a free laptop. Just forward it on to your friends and include Anna@sonyericsson.com in CC. Its been "checked on snopes"... Yeah right. My brain said, "scam, scam, scam." But I said, to heck with it, its probably worth the 30 seconds, and my friends will forgive me. So I clicked the forward button, and sent that multiplied piece of cybertrash to a bunch of friends.

Needless to say, I didn't really get the laptop, but I did get into a great conversation with one of my professors about the iPhone. The end of my MRSA adventure was a check up with a Dr, who said everything looks fine. Michelle says that the adventure is never really ended, but I think I'm done. You, mr or ms reader, are amazing for having read all of this.

So I just registered my blog domain, but I was afraid I was going to delete the whole thing. Pretty stressful. I still don't have all the kinks worked out, but I'm happy with it.

Fortitudo, Vigilatia, Defensio.

Brought to you by the Department of Fairness...oh wait, I mean Justice. (wink wink Professor Bonner)

Olmecs in DC, ...who knew?

On a serious note, we all lead charmed lives, and I personally feel like I need to show as much gratitude to God as I possibly can. Alot of that effort is just plain obedience. How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yeah thy pure eye, behold from the heavens the sins of this people? Hopefully I am repenting at a fast enough rate that this question doesn't hit me smack in the middle of the forehead and knock me out.




I don't know if you can tell, but below is a stump of tree that was used as a defence for some soldier in the civil war. It is insane to think of the carnage that accompanied such. Anyhow, be righteous. Obey God.

So I wish I had a geiger counter to show the people whose faces were pressed against the glass at this display, just how much radiation they were getting from it. It might have freaked some of them out. This was at the American History Museum, so I'm not sure if they consulted any doctors or physicists before putting this stuff 6 inches behind some plexiglass for millions of people a year to look at, ...but I was OK with it. If Los Alamos gave it to them, they probably did so with at least some confidence that nobody would die.



Cold Fusion! Rock On! ...if only it were that easy. Look how small we could have made the engines for our nuclear submarines!


So yeah, I'm a physics geek, but its awesome that my kids were able to climb all over a particle accelerator... Hopefully there was no residual raditation...



Wesley doesn't understand the idea of a vehicle with no driver capable of finishing a race course, but he was willing to stand in front of one to take a picture.

Good times.

There is so much to explore here, for better or worse. Its nice to see more than just the Hollywood version of this area. I feel pretty blessed that our family has not felt threatened once while we've been here. Sierra even asked these punk skaters to watch their mouth last night on the train. One of the kids started to pipe up afterwords, but I turned around and gave him a crazy-eyed "I might castrate you if you keep talking" look, and he shut up in mid sentence. Although I had given him an evil glare, I thought they were pretty good mannered for having acted the way they did. And although they continued their own conversations, I didn't catch any more swear words. Pretty cool. So yeah, we are lucky to be here in this day.

So I was telling Sierra a chronology of my favorite airplanes... First as a kid, I fell in love with the F-14 Tomcat, and I remember my parents go me one to play with that made sounds that would change as you flew it up and down. It was aweseome. Then I liked stealth stuff for a while, including the Blackbird... Then I served as a missionary in an area adjacent to JFK, and was able to watch the Concord take off on multiple occasions, which definitely stole my heart. I wish the experience was still available. But after seeing the space shuttle in person, right in my face, I am blown away. I think that is an achievement beyond my capacity to describe.

How much Heavenly Father has blessed this nation is beyond anybody's capacity to fully convey, and a teeny tiny glance of that is available at the Air and Space Museum...

Anyhow, even if you disagree with that last statement, all four of my favorite airplanes, what I consider to be some of the greatest achievements of modern man, definitely wonders of the modern world, are sitting under one roof out by Dulles airport.








So my Grandpa Brown worked on this engine back in the day. For a split second, I thought about going over to the Air Force Recruiters and signing up... Of course, I would want to work on a modern Pratt Whitney, like maybe the one in the F-22...talk about sweet. But its pretty cool that they have an animated model of the engine my Grandpa used to fix. It lights up and everything.




So there is also a bunch of art, and history in the Air and Space Museum on the mall. If you only get to two places on your trip to DC, go to both of the Air and Space.














The boys don't realize they are sitting in a piece of the tread of the massive hauler that carries the rockets to the launch pad... Wowza.


I hope the boyos can remember this place.

So, after sitting in the actual Supreme Court Room, and feeling really inspired by all that, I had about an hour before Sierra and the boys were going to meet me and go to the museum with me. Sitting in front of the Robert A. Taft memorial, I looked over, and right beside me this beautiful butterfly had landed. It must have escaped from the Natural History Museum. I was again inspired, so I took the chance to go to the Museum of Art on the mall, both the east and the west buildings. I walked at a leisurely pace, and went to the things that I wanted to see. It was a grand afternoon.

I'll tell you what, I support art. I would spend my life as an artist in the hills just as readily as I would spend the rest of my life climbing mountains. I will never be able to agree with people who don't think we should spend some of our money, time, or resources on art. I will take my sons and daughters to different schools if the budget cuts out its funding for art. Maybe it doesn't have to be a huge part of peoples lives, and I am still skeptical of the critics that talk with the haughty airs of know it all -ness. They seem pretty useless. But a true artist, who wants to make something that expresses what he or she feels or thinks or imagines or (sometimes) whatever they want to make, is I think a very valuable part of our society.

So here are some cell phone resolution pics of some stuff that I really liked. Of course I have to start with a Raphael Madonna. I even like that the last two letters of his name mean "God" ...

I'm sorry these are such low resolution. I've tried to include the plaque close to the pics, so you get the correct info. Just for anyone who is curious, one of my favorite painters ever is Joseph Mallord William Turner. Not that I'm very educated on this stuff, but this guy is amazing. This opinion was developed entirely independent of the fact that one of my good friends is actually named Brendan William Turner.




I don't know if you can tell the level of detail in the paintings, but its amazing, and its like the painting has heaven smack in the middle with hell on the fringes. Here is another...



There is so much more. Not in any particular order...


Also, I like Picasso. Cubism is to me symbolic of independent thought. I don't have to think what everyone else thinks. I don't have to think what everyone else wants me to think. And he put that message on the canvas. Actually I really like all of his work, including the earlier stuff... they are really good. Sorry this first one doesn't have the plaque with it.







Below is one that I didn't like so much when it was introduced in art 101 at BYU, but I've forgotten why. My opinion has definitely changed.


Georgia O'Keefe painted our wedding invitation stamp.


I saw a tall sculpture from Giacometti in Detroit...definitely his own style.


I learned about Whiteread at BYU, and I reccomend reading about her work. Its prettty cool.




Ok, Mallord is one of my favorite painters, but the only artist to be mentioned on my blog before is Andy Goldsworthy. If I was forced to choose at gunpoint who, besides God, is absolutely the best, I would choose him. If anyone is ever in town, and has the chance, go here and see this.



Some people don't like Serra, but I do.





Isamu Noguchi is awesome too. You have to see these things in real life. The sculpture below is made from basalt, and its like 10 feet high.


Ok, a little more of the Goldsworthy one.

We have been to the Native American Museum a couple of times, and it has alot of powerful messages. I really like how the building itself reminds me of the wavy walls of a desert canyon. Its pretty crummy that the guns of the conquistadors, and their money, etc. is so closely tied to this museum. I apologize that the two best pictures (the ones with my boys in them, duh) were taken with my cell phone. I've used that camera alot here in DC. People probably think I'm a spy.








The museum is almost adjacent to the Capitol, a nice place to eat lunch.

Sanctuary

Life is a pressure, unyeilding, unbending
crushing both weak and strong together
men fighting to live, each a different way
pushing farther along the weathered main

i make solid the walls along my perimeter
by my own sweat holding failure at bay
keeping sacred a place within my tired heart
for that which is treasured far above all

a Place protected, sheltered from care
never shifting from its centered arena
fixed always firmly by the power of my being
mightier than weight, force, all sore trial

a Place for You, my dearest, greatest friend
within the depths of soul, i embrace You
encompassed by my love, encircled, enshrined
forever You will be there, Forever.

So its been too long, but here is Wesley standing in front of a Giant Sloth, along with other neat stuff. I feel like there is no way that my blog will ever contain even a brief summary of the things I find interesting, or the things that I really enjoy. I think I'm getting an inkling of how it must have felt for Nephi and Moroni to try and separate out the 1/100th of the sweet stuff from the rest. I'm not saying I have put only good stuff on my blog (definitely not), but I actually do wish I could put more stuff on here about how my testimony is growing, and how the love that I have for my family is getting stronger through this experience. I think the skill of writing a really good journal is probably a gift of the Spirit.

So, here are some of the pictures from the 4th of July. We were sitting right in front of the Washington Monument, and the fireworks were right in our face, awesomely loud, blow you away. Hence the somewhat worried look on Wesley's face. There were a TON of people there, but thanks to our strategiziling (heading to the farther metro stop, allowing us to get on before the masses of people) we didn't have to wait in line forever to catch the train, and we got seats. We still didn't get home until really late, but it was an amazing experience for our little family.

Our little patch was just to the right of this picture, right on a soft spot of newly replaced sod, with poles to lean against.

So a while ago I actually took a tour of the George Washington Masonic Memorial, and I've had the pictures on my cell phone for a while. It is not only an amazing structure, but it is FULL of really really cool stuff, like Washington's swords, his family bible, and tons of cool masonic stuff too. I recommend the tour for anyone who visits the area. It is awesome.

Above is the trowel used to lay the cornerstone of the US Capitol, along with other cool buildings.

Yeah, the Masons mint their own currency. Pretty dope.

On display are old aprons used in their ceremonies.

So I went on a tour of the Supreme Court today. It was pretty interesting, and I finally got to see the famous Muhammed on the frieze of the courtroom, wink wink all you untransferred Ave Maria competitors. Anyhow, I don't know how many people have a strong desire to come argue cases here, but I realized today that I want to. This is where the future of our nation is decided, and people cannot sit idly by and just complain about the direction it is headed. It requires work to bring good things to pass.



Above is the entrance to the courtroom, where photogaphy is not allowed. Granted some of the jerkwads in our patent office group blatantly ignored that rule, but they also wore shorts and flip flops. I wore a suit.

This is a pretty cool landmark. To understand it, you need to go see the huge mural on the wall inside the George Washington Masonic Memorial. I'm not sure why people don't like Freemasons. I sure do.

Here is the boats display of the American History Museum. Talk about a recent fantasy that has really made a permanent mark on my brain...

Back in the day, some member of the church whose name I forgot was assigned to manage the funds to get Saints over to America from England. He wasted a lot of the money trying to start a shipping company, doing things like buying an office, hiring an accountant, etc. But he failed, and later went apostate (I think he came back). Too bad he didn't just baptize some boat builders and get a Mormon Fleet built up from scratch. That would have maybe been the wrong choice too, but I would have at least tried to baptize some boat builders, and gone from there.

What an amazing age we live in where a silly goofball like me actually feels somewhat confident that it could have been done. We now have the chance to learn how to build boats, speak crazy languages, and paint, and bind books, and learn the intricacies of Geology, play around on Google Earth, and DO SO MANY AWESOME THINGS. I can't even say how grateful I am to be alive in this day and age.

But those days would have rocked too. I hope that in a heartbeat I would have faced the challenges of getting something like that together, and, who knows maybe the boat building idea would have worked. With God, all things are possible. I personally think the only reason that guy failed was because his faith was weak, as manifested by his falling away.

Anyhow, I can only show that I am willing to do what the Lord needs me to do by giving my all to the tasks at hand, aside from my personal fantasies. I need to be a better missionary to the friends that I love, both here and at Ave. I hope that my influence with the JRCLS can help it to accomplish great things.

So here is our little house guest. Normally I try not to kill bugs in my house, especially spiders, probably due to the whole Joseph Smith and the Rattlesnake story,... but when there is a two inch tall cricket in my bathroom that can jump up the wall to the height of my head in three quick bounds, he is a dead man. But I think this guy must have interbred with a Hydra, because for every one that I kill, two come back. I really have let two of them go well outside of our apartment, but there are lots.

So the National Sculpture Garden has some really cool sculptures, and some that is not ver impressive, but to me the coolest thing they have there (besides the fountain where we eat our picnic dinners probably twice a week) is the Cedar of Lebanon that is actually right by the East Entrance. There are in fact two of them. I've never seen one before, and I kind of want to steal a cone sometime and start propagating my own on some remote private property somewhere. Along with redwoods. The MI tax sales are coming up...

Anchor of Men

cold stones along the stream that morning
blessed with the touch of such water pure
were as the great thought my heart adorning
the foundation of life and love so sure

unknowingly fragile are the dreams of men
like the needles of saplings upon that bank
which, rustled and tossed by wind, had been
often lost, and into those pools had sank

those stones
such thoughts of thee
so good and clear
have caught
my tender dreams
and kept them dear

Here are a few pictures of the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal, but you should also check out Sierra's blog for some pictures of Eli and Wesley. The flower in the bottom picture was about the most beautiful thing I ever smelled. But I really like honeysuckle, so its probably tied for equally good smells.




OK, now to get really nostalgic. I just found out that the Myers Family may be back from Israel, and I felt myself immediately start to itch for some real adventure, to finally take my boys to do something amazing, not necessarily a canyon or summit, but something that I esteem huge.

Maybe something like Navajo Falls, but that is gone now thanks to Babbit and his Redlands Dam. Maybe something like Hopkins Lake and the Devils Staircase (not really that bad) in the Pasayten Wilderness in Washington, except that a huge forest fire raged through there a few years ago.

No, this isn't turning into a melancholy belch of dumb wishing for things that can never be brought back, its just the two things I initially thought of aren't really there anymore. But there are still things that can be done, like go to the little town pictured below, and walk around the hills finding beautiful rocks (which Wesley already does, no prompting from any of us...seriously, he finds pretty neat rocks even on the National Mall) or even petrified wood. Or in the same town, we can visit the grave of Sierra's great great great grandfather who was the first of her ancestors to join the church, and was actually the bodygaurd of the prophet Joseph Smith. Anyhow, this is the place where I want to own a very small cabin someday, along with Glacier WA. Can anybody name the town?

So, I had a ton of stuff that built up over the course of one year of law school, and I am just now posting it. Sorry if you think I should be living in the present, or at least posting in the present, but these are neat things that I want to share, like really good food that it turns out is really healthy, or like boys who aren't afraid of anything.

Here are a few pics from the Natural History Museum. Our boys have alot of fun at these places. You should see the cockroach that Wesley held, on Sierra's blog. I've posted the more "scientific" freak you out pics.

Although I don't know all of these guys names, below is a bird eating spider, whose belly is the size of my fist. I don't fancy myself a fan of these guys... at least not accidentally under my sheets or something.



Below is a wolf spider.

And what spider collection would be complete without our favorite teenage buddy, the brown recluse. I wonder if I'll become a recluse when I'm old and senile...

Here is part of the live butterfly exhibit at the Natural History Museum, which happens to be free on Tuesday. I know it doesn't compare to the crazy red-horned moth that John Watson found, but maybe I should photoshop one of them and add some spice to the deal... Naaahhh, its way too late right now for that.

We drove out to Shenandoah National Park to do the Skyline Drive. The entrance Guard was kind and let us in without having to pay the $20 fee, because it was foggy for most of the way... We did have some clear spots, which I'm sure I should post, but I liked the "forest of fog at the top of the world" feeling.


Everything was covered in dew, and it made me think of D&C 121. Allegorically, these milkweed plants are examples of what amazing priesthood holders look like through spiritual eyes.

So, its pretty warm here, and I love it. I was just remembering how cold the Hill Camorah was... not that I don't love the cold too, but being Virginia warm isn't really life threatening. When we were in Palmyra it was about 0 F, and on top of the hill it was blowing so hard. I don't remember many times that I've been exposed to that much cold, and definitely never while being with two small boys whose jackets may or may not have been enough to insulate them against such. Note the layer of ice in the Niagara Falls picture.

This was the replica of the Smith family cabin, where Joseph was first visited by the Angel Moroni.

Here are a few pictures of the Book of Mormon I gave to George Roche. It turned out really stiff for some reason, and the square around the edge is really uneven. But its still a good book...at least content wise.

It is so nice to be hot right now. Here is a reminder of how crummy the Michigan winter was. If you can't tell, that is a jack-knifed semi on the ice covered highway. He was probably going a scary 30 mph when it happened. We were going 15.

o
I was just remembering how beautiful Oregon is, even though it doesn't compare to Washington. There really are some great places there.




But here is the best part of Oregon: Grandparents that these boys love with all their heart.

The DC temple is pretty awesome. And I love how you totally get blown away by it as you round the bend on the freeway. Too bad traffic is SO AWFUL that I NEVER drive on the freeway. But Rock Creek Parkway on the other hand is good most of the time. Its just good to go to this place and get a huge recharge of the spirit.

Here is a video of someone who went down a side waterfall while we were standing on the bridge. Pretty cool.

So we went to Great Falls in Maryland, which is about half an hour away from our house. We saw a snake, a bunch of beautiful birds, and a crazy kayaker. Then there was a huge thunderstorm. Sorry for not posting more, but the people whose internet we were using caught on and password protected, so I have to post at the public library. More to come.

Once again in human figure,
Full in sight ran on before him,
Sped away in gust and whirlwind,
On the shores of Gitche Gumee,
Westward by the Big-Sea-Water,
Came unto the rocky headlands,
To the Pictured Rocks of sandstone,
Looking over lake and landscape.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

So, not only is this a late post, like 2 months late, but its also going to be a pretty big one. Not one of the longwinded kind, but just a ton of pictures. I wish a picture were worth a trillion words for this place, because I could go off. Think of a miniature Zion NP, without all the crowds. Seriously, we saw like 5 people total in all the hiking we did in three days. OK, maybe ten. Not kidding, the campsite had 6 spots. Total. The nearest town has probably 30 or so residents, and was half an hour away. So anyhow, my dream is to build a little pole-barn up here and spend summers making boats from scratch, ie with my own hardwood timber. I hope you can see why. Come join me sometime.

So for lunch today I walked down to look at some apartments, and on the way back I stopped by the George Washington Masonic Memorial, which is supposed to be designed after the lighthouse of Alexandria, Egypt. Pretty sweet. I didn't make the connection with the city I work in and that city until now. Anyhow, it was a cool memorial. But its sad that the bushes are symoblically overgrowing the really profound words of Washington. Ivy is creeping over his signature so that soon he will no longer be distinguishable except as a face on a bill and a wall, a memory of an honorable past rather than guidance for a wayward present.

Let prejudices and local interests yeild to reason. Let us look to our national character, and to things beyond the present period.

So Alexandria is pretty sweet. I've spent my lunch breaks thus far walking around town trying to find housing, with absolutely no luck. But I have been lucky enough to see some pretty neat stuff, like the George Washington Masonic Memorial, and the courthouse where I will one day rock the world with my litigation skills. Haha...actually, the quite life of a patent examiner seems pretty nice. Anyhow, goodnight.

Wow, I got my dream internship, and let me tell you, its pretty intense. The first two weeks are training, basically a patent bar course condensed into some pretty strong medicine. But I am learning a ton, and I love it. And I've gotten to hang out with Nathan Kelsey, and his wonderful family. Still, I miss my own family, but am excited to fly back to them on Friday night.

I built a boat. Three days after my last final, my family and I went to the lumber yard and bought five 2 x 4's of cedar, which somehow turned into that thing in the picutres on top of my car. Its not finished yet though because I still have to fiberglass it, and I'm sure that's going to be alot of work.

Thanks to John Watson for taking it down to Florida in his moving truck (not to mention everything else of ours he took down for us...), Thanks to George Roche for making it possible via instruction, actual sweat and work, and providing the awesome forum and tools for the job, and Thanks to Jed for flying out right at the crucial moment, to help me solve the mystery of the bowsprits before I had to fly off to DC. Even Telia, Ben and Aeden helped, for which I am grateful. And most especially, thanks to my beautiful wife, Sierra, for not neutering the idea right from the start, going along with confidence in the nutso idea of her husband, and only giving help and support through the whole thing.

I have alot more respect for Nephi and his family after this experience. This boat turned out to be about 15' 9" long, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done... I can't even imagine how I could have built my own tools, let alone built a much bigger boat. But I know he did, through his faith and obedience to God. Folks, the Book of Mormon is true.

We went to the Detroit Institute of Art, and here are my two favorite paintings. Sorry, but I used my cell phone camera, so they probably won't make good desktop wallpapers. But nonetheless, the meaning that I ascribed to them is still somewhat visible. Think what you will.

Slowly, but surely, the ice will melt; we mortals cannot claim authorship through something like the imagined politics of global warming. The warmth comes soley because of the turning of the earth, authored by God from the foundations of the world. His plan brings life, both seasonally and eternally, and it is in our best interest to seek diligently for those blessings.

In other words, I'm definitely moving away from Michigan to some place where spring actually exists, and where I won't wake up the day after my wife's birthday to a foot of snow.

Christ Lives.

Mølle

the pasture is empty. rich green grass abides alone
today. beneath sunken gray skies, the lambs have fled,
absent from their grazing beside the stream. doors are
shut, latched, as the stronghold of shelter
from an invisible, dangerous fury of power.
forbidding oceans of dark, twisting cumulus
clash in cold and bloody battle. a day of gloom
and silence, except for the blowing wind.

there are no children by the swing in the garden
today. no young, bright minds observe
snails under the rocks, and no small noses
smell the sweetness of tulips. the bench in the
courtyard is vacant, without the passion of love
between a young man and his bride to be;
no whispers or giggles, or smiles of serene
joy to light the stones of the archways.

the world has shut itself in, awaiting the passing of the
tempest. some gather around the hearth to hear
grandfather tell stories of golden adventure
long since past, from a day of youth now gone.
daring to peek out the curtain, through the shutter,
reveals only fury. ears pressed against
windows can hear only the shaking of forest and
ferocious, blowing wind over the earth.


alone, a man slips out to face what others dare not
brave. silent, unnoticed, with head bowed, and his
coat tightly shut, he marches forward with
purpose, companionship lacking but for a stray
raindrop whipping past, portending greater threat
yet to come. his pace does not falter, his course is
strait. he goes forward this day because he knows
this day is for him, and for his Mølle.

at the top of the only hill, it is crafted well, built
strong. it stands in requisite lastingness this day, to turn
stone and grind vestal grain, bridling blind violence and
power from the blowing wind. today is singular, one of
determination. much work must be done, and there is
little time to rest. the toil is not for self, but is a
work for the good of all men, a duty willingly accepted by
one man, entrusted with a precious, peculiar call.

together they grind, by pressure and tearing
force. the stone turns with speed, and the
grain yields to higher destiny, a new form.
today is a refinement, from an existing
coarse nature to a greater majesty, that will be
seen and felt by many, though the present work is
in the hand of but one man and his stone, and the
power of the terrible, blowing wind.

Its been a long cold winter, and its far from over. But the faint light that is the dawn of spring appears on the horizon, and I draw hope from its imagined warmth. And somewhere far back the thirst for adventure still tingles in my blood.

Death to boredom and discouragement!

I just wanted to clarify some confusion that could arise from my last gigantic post, over something I mentioned concerning the Book of Mormon. I said (honestly) that I don't hold it infallible, but I want to make sure every one understands how I feel about it.

If there was a list of things I hold important, God, my beautiful wife, and my amazing boys would be at the absolute top. Then my family in the larger sense. Then my friends. But very next in line, the first material thing on that list, is the Book of Mormon. That book is above anything else. Education, security, my own physical well being, and everything else that is still pretty important to me falls below. If there was a nuclear holocaust and my family had to choose one physical thing other than food or water to take into our underground cement box, I would choose the Book of Mormon. I definitely wouldn't choose an ipod (barf on ipods), or a playstation 3, or a fancy watch... I wouldn't choose my wife's guitar, my laptop, or even a journal to write in...I wouldn't choose a jar of curry spices, or a huge brick of chocolate, no photo albums, no family heirlooms....

Anyhow, I'm just trying to say that I value that book very highly. Although I feel that it is probably imperfect, and that there may still be editorial errors to be corrected in the future, as there were in the past, whether put there by Granden, Cowdrey, Joseph Smith, or maybe even Emma Smith during the translation process, (although I doubt she made any errors) I know that the Book of Mormon will bring a man closer to God than any other book. It is truely the keystone of my religion, and I am grateful that it is attached to a church which permits my attendance.

Perhaps I could also have said, more to the point, that I don't hold my own interpretation of the book infallible. If I got into some argument with an anti-mormon preacher, I am fairly sure that I would mess up the meaning of a few of the passages within the book. Although I read it frequently, I have not mastered it, and therefore for me to say "such and such is true because the Book of Mormon said so" has the significant risk of error that the book may not actually say such and such.

I know that Christ lives, and I know that the Book of Mormon contains His words. I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Christ, to accompany the witness given by those of the old world. I am grateful to those who sacrificed to bring the Book of Mormon forth, both in ancient and modern day, and I'm grateful to my parents for placing it in my life. I'm sorry that I don't share it more often in a more intense way... but we all need to grow in a few areas, right? A few of us need to grow in all areas, but everyone knew that about me already...

Anyhow, the Book of Mormon is a true record of a real people unto whom the Savior personally ministered after His resurrection. I love the book as much as a person can hold material objects dear. I guess I ought to show that more by sharing it with others.

Merry Christmas.

We just arrived in CO yesterday night after a pretty harrowing adventure of a drive. Actually it wasn't the craziest drive I've ever done (ask Michelle about the time we braved the closed Blue Mountain Pass to get to BYU in 2004) but there was a part that was ridiculous, through a little state called Iowa...

One of my best friends at Ave, Stefan Knudsen, is from Iowa, and when he found out our trip plans, he volunteered his parents house just in case we needed to stop. He did so about a week and a half before the trip, so there was no way he could have accurately predicted the conditions we encountered. Yet I think his gut instincts were that we had no idea what an Iowa winter could produce, and so he did everything possible to protect us...

Anyhow, the storm actually hit us in Illinois, with a pretty decent amount of snow slowing us down a little bit. But I distinctly remember that the second half of the bridge over the Mississippi River, as its slope began to arc downwards to the distant shore, felt like an icy luge designed for bobsleds. And thus began something amazing. Thereafter, the road was literally covered in ice, perhaps from freezing rain, I'm not sure, accompanied by very strong winds that slowed our travel to around 25 or 30 mph. I feel like half our drive was spent in that state. Thankfully, we had no mishap, just extremely slow going.

We counted over 60 accidents from the storm, defining 'accident' as a car that had clearly spun out of control, ending up either in the median facing backwards, or in some farmers field, all of which were either now abandoned, or in the process of becoming such. A decent portion of which involved overturned vehicles, and three were huge jack-knifed/destroyed semi trucks. One of those semi trucks was almost comical in its position, having ended up in some poor farmers grove of cottonwoods. Of all things, I was worried about the farmers barb-wire fence. All of the accidents we saw were current, meaning the tracks in the snow they had created were fresh, not snowed over. In other words, tons of accidents resulted from this one crazy storm.

Anyhow, pioneers rock. I'm proud to be from American Stock, and I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for all of my blessings, especially the noticeable things like a car heater that works. Here are some pictures, only a couple of the last, more mild ones:

I took a civil procedure test yesterday, it blew my brain. Then me and John and Stefan went to Buffalo Wild Wings, and I got some Blazin' wings...yummy. Then I came back to school till 1PM and studied torts. I don't really like that class. Then I did some fun spins in the parking lot, take out some frustrations...

Who is this crazy cat who is wearing my wetsuit, and floundering through the icy depths of Echo and Keyhole Canyons ? He has such nice biceps, and some sweet pecks, but we'll need to work on that unruly hair...



I dunno, maybe he's related to me or something, otherwise why the heck would he willingly step over the 100 meter ledge of Englestead Hollow and then come back for more?





Or why else would he drag his kids through the Northern Backcountry of Zion NP in the middle of January...Granted, the steamy swimming pool was so super afterwards, don't you think Ben?



Welcome to MBHC, Ben.

Thanks to Brendan Turner, here's a fun little snippet of me last winter...



Can anyone say "I wish I wasn't buried in law school craziness and had a season pass to snowbird!!" five times fast?

A while ago I admitted to my friends at Ave Maria School of Law that I have a bad habit of assuming, wrongly, that everyone is a mormon. I thought I would expound on that a little. Its not that I think everyone believes specifically that the book of mormon is true, or has been baptized, or anything like that. Instead, my assumptions are on more of a fundamental, paradigm governing level. And even the mormons who read this post will quickly realize that most mormons themselves don't fall into my assumed personality. I want to apologize if I offend anyone...

Its like this: I assume that all physics geeks have at some point in their lives tried to wrap their head around the chronology of the big bang, or the nature of a photon, or the beauty of relativity, and have come up short. I assume that everyone has at one point flipped on a light switch and realized the incredible amount of trust they put in that simple mechanical device. I assume that in a time since past, every person has watched a sunrise and sensed how profound the constant motion of earth really is, and how much rain, blue sky, and daylight are taken for granted every day.

I assume that everyone has at some point doubted every single fundamental that they have ever known, and come out realizing that at the most fundamental level we ALL live by faith. For example, does 1 + 1 = 2 ? Here is a thought experiment to chew on, if I can make it clear:

Let's suppose that after the first week of Math 315 at BYU, you decide to count all of the numbers between 0 and 1 that can be written as a fraction, like 1/3, 1/8, or 3,456,345/67,585,608...You just learned in class that they are called "rational numbers." Your amazing professor, Christopher Grant, gives you a magic meter stick that has infinite precision so you can mark each number on the stick. Soon you get tired and realize that there is actually an infinite amount rational numbers between 0 and 1, because you can set up a series like 1/2, 2/3, 3/4, 4/5, 5/6, 6/7, 7/8, 8/9,... that will go on forever but will never reach 1. A minute later and you realize that there is an infinite amount of rational numbers between 0 and 1/2. Then the thought hits, there is an infinite amount between any two numbers you might pick, despite how close they are on your meter stick. Its kind of neat, but not that extraordinary. You also realize that taking out every other number from that series, making it 1/2, 3/4, 5/6, 7/8,... still leaves it infinite. In fact, leaving only every billionth number still gives you an infinite set of numbers between 0 and 1.

Then comes the wierdness... You are staring at the meter stick and you realize that this device has an actual application: determining distance. If something is twice as long as this stick, you would say it two meters long. In other words 1 + 1 = 2. Right?

Yet on the stick itself there are an infinite amount of numbers, even if you remove every other number leaving a space between them. If you you think that space is too tiny, then make it bigger by leaving only every trillionth number from your series, or every septendecillionth number, or every Skewe's number, or every Graham's number, it doesn't matter. There is still an infinite amount of numbers left over, and there is still space on your meter stick in between them. An infinite amount of anything finite, no matter how small, is infinite. As long as its not zero, if you infinitely keep adding something to your pile of septendecillimeters, you are going to end up with a length that stretches forever.

In other words, 1 + 1 = infinity + infinity = infinity.

But the meter stick doesn't look infinite, and you used to run the 400 meter in 54 seconds, so you know it is not impossible to cross this "infinite" distance. Something must be wrong with your magic meter stick.

Next week, after you've recovered somewhat, your professor shows you a switch on the back of the meter stick that shows all the numbers that can't be expressed as fractions, called irrational numbers, like Pi and the square root of 1/2, etc. He also assigns you a few proofs showing that there is an infinite amount of irrational numbers between any two rational numbers, no matter how close... So your meter stick just became infinitely longer than the rational infinity that it previously had. Calmly, you set the stick aside, and realize that the world is still turning, even though you don't know how that doesn't violate the fundamentals of math. You also remember that you have a date with your wife tonight. There are more important things, and one day you will return to the stick and realize the answer...

OK, if I lost anyone, I'm sorry. I take the blame, maybe I could explain it better in person, maybe not. Its not that conundrum-ish of a question, being weakly solved. I have an answer to that paradox, but it's not satisfying to the palate, and that's not the point of this post. Don't email me about any Max Planck length, trying to show me how to avoid the paradox, because that is definitely not the point. Its just a long-winded illustration.

The point is that I assume people's response to things like paradox is largely similar to my own, not avoidance or assumptive rebuttal, but acceptance by faith that one day all things will be made known from the rooftops, while for the moment I just don't know. To add to this ridiculousness (me assuming way too much), I assume that my own thought pattern is a good representation of what mormons think. Permission to be offended granted.

Of course I don't represent other people very well, and how could I? I am a weirdo from another planet among good, sane people. And how could I assume that I know how people think, or feel? I barely know them at all. My wife is the person I am closest to, and I still feel like everyday I am gaining more insight into her personality, and discovering who she really is. What about random strangers? nope, I've got noth'n.

The magic meter stick thought pattern exists for me everywhere, not just in math, or physics, or science. In different places it takes on different forms. I look at alot of things and am puzzled at the fundamentals behind them. I just assume that everyone else is too. I take such in stride, realizing at a pretty constant rate that I know barely anything, and definitely don't know everything. I assume that everyone else sees that about themselves as well. I look at the knowledge of others and take it all with a grain of salt, because while they may know more than I, they still don't know everything. I just assume that everyone else does the same.

I take nothing on this earth as infallible. Even the Bible, and even (que more mormon offense) the Book of Mormon, was translated by imperfect men, and handled by imperfect printers, etc. I assume that deep down, everyone not only does, but must see weakness in mortal things.

I treat spiritual things in a manner parallel to the scientific method. I gather evidence, form a hypothesis, test it, and draw a conclusion. Sure, I haven't tested every single possible hypothesis that exists out there, and I never will. But I have tested two pretty major ones: that God lives, or that he does not.

The fact is that I have never "seen" God, and probably would not "infallibly" believe it even if I had. Perhaps touching the prints of the nails, and feeling the wounds in His side would bring absolute knowledge, but I don't know because it has not happened. I don't mean to be light about that.

I have no "absolute" evidence one way or the other. But I have plenty of convincing evidence that God lives, and not vice versa. In fact, that evidence is stronger than any other evidence I have ever been given. I have seen all my life that Newton's laws are true, that gravity is real, that when I flip the light switch, the light will come on. But I know more unquestionably that God lives than I "know" any of those other things. There is not a doubt in my mind that the sun will rise tomorrow, but I am more firmly convinced that God lives. I know God lives, and I am less sure in my knowledge of all other things.

I have had too many prayers answered to even count. I have asked directly for an answer about things like the nature of God, the necessity of baptism, scripture, and my purpose in life, and have recieved powerful answers from the Spirit of God that, to me, are more convincing than anything I have seen, heard, or touched.

Also, I have had too many external manifestations of the Hand of God operatin in my life to ever deny. After a year of missionary service in Japan, I was diagnosed with Leukemia, despite my extended efforts to ignore it and continue working. The situation was such that my doctor was afraid that I may not survive the plane ride home. I reicieved a priesthood blessing from a righteous man properly ordained with the restored authority of God. I spent alot of time in the hospital, and had unique experiences. I survived, and gratefully went back to finish another year of missionary service. My body had been destroyed systematically on a cellular level in order to cure the disease, and yet I came out healthy. You can ask my doctor, Fred Ey, what he thinks. You can come run a marathon with me this coming summer if you want. You can come meet my two sons who came into this world against all probability and reason considering the chemotherapy I went through. I find much supporting evidence concerning the Hand of God in that experience.

That period only represents a small part of my life, but even based on that year and a half of illness alone, I must conclude that I know God lives! More than that, I know that he is my literal Father, and I know that I am created in his image. I know that he desires every one of his children to return to his presence as resurrected beings, united as familes for eternity. I know that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to redeem mankind, and through a perfect Atonement, Christ removed the chains of death for all, and hell for all who come unto him. I know these things more than I know anything.

But let's say I did not have all this external evidence. Let's erase the profound, quite moments under the stars in the remote San Rafael desert. And let's remove the overwhelming infusions of humility recieved from the many times during my senior year of high school that I went surfing before the sun was up, watching a symphony of light start from almost nothing, gaining momuntem until a final blinding climax. Let's wipe away the vistas of the North Cascades that in reality unalterably shaped my teenage years. I feel strongly that even without those additional factors to help my decision of knowledge, I would still know God lives.

The fact is, the witness of the Spirit of God is more powerful than any earthly thing. It is stronger than mere emotion or physical sensation. It is irrefutable, and I hold that witness as the one infallable thing that all other knowledge can be based upon.

So you can see why assuming that everyone is similar might lead to a few confused people...

God lives, my friends.

OK, hold everything. I have neglected something pretty important in this blog, and I just wanted to correct it before I go any farther. See, the original purpose of this blog was to dedicate space to what MBHC truly is. I have tried to at least mention adventures, but really, of almost 50 expeditions in the last 5 years (Sierra argues that its more like 60, but she exaggerates) I have posted only like 5 times. maybe a few more, you can count if you want.

This happened because the real purpose I have is not to document fun frivolity, but to help me convince myself that an extraordinary type of person exists, and also that I am surrounded by them, and maybe even that I am a part of them.

I was convinced a long time ago that extraordinary people are really out there, and one of the supporting facts came from my brothers and sisters. Except for Sierra, Eli, and Wesley (and of course I'm not biased), I DO NOT KNOW OF ANY MORE EXCELLENT PEOPLE THAN WAYNE, PHILLIP, GAYLEEN, and oh, yeah, MICHELLE (formerly called) BROWN. Anybody who has looked through the blog knows know my problem. WHERE THE HECK IS A POST ABOUT MICHELLE?

Somebody shoot me. I am such an idiot. Seriously, anybody who knows this family knows that Michelle is by far the brightest star in our family. She is top on the list of EXCELLENT. Dan Myers, I love ya, but I am the biggest loser and ignorant craphead for posting a long time ago about you being cool, and then remaining silent on the issue of my sister Michelle. Ben Gunn, I think your awesome too, but I am the biggest fart for considering a post of you on this page before my sis. Michelle really HAS been to Mount Baker, dangit! She is more official MBHC than anybody. Don't worry Ben, your time is coming.

Anyhow, I hope that somehow I can one day remedy this massive mistake and be forgiven, but for now I'll have to just post some pictures and say Michelle is really amazing, and definitely belongs on this page. Sorry I don't have any glamor shots. Instead here are some pictures of when Michelle went hiking with her crazy older bro in the desert when she was like 8 months prego. Crazy! Most women can't even get off the couch at this point let alone trapse around in 110 degrees for 8 hours.

I looked again
aching for dream and life,
humble student to unwritten song,
and saw a subtle warmth,
burning eyes midst fallen snow,
loving smiles to thaw the fountain.
An epic past seemingly gone
carried away by empty, drifting canoes
was unveiled anew by belated sprout
through mud and grime.
Futures yet unknown float beyond
realm of feeble sight, barred
by curving, crumbling canyon walls.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

laus deo

Spreading afar and unfenced o'er the plain; and away to the northward

Blomidon rose, and the forests old, and aloft on the mountains

Sea-fogs pitched their tents, and mists from the mighty Atlantic

Looked on the happy valley, but ne'er from their station descended.

There, in the midst of its farms, reposed the Acadian village.

Strongly built were the houses, with frames of oak and of chestnut,

Such as the peasants of Normandy built in the reign of the Henries.

Thatched were the roofs, with dormer-windows; and gables projecting

Over the basement below protected and shaded the doorway.

There in the tranquil evenings of summer, when brightly the sunset

Lighted the village street, and gilded the vanes on the chimneys,

Matrons and maidens sat in snow-white caps and in kirtles

Scarlet and blue and green, with distaffs spinning the golden

Flax for the gossiping looms, whose noisy shuttles within doors

Mingled their sound with the whir of the wheels and the songs of the maidens.

-Henry Wadsworth Lonfellow (Evangeline)

I miss my friends in Utah. Thankfully I have found amazing people here too. For example, John Watson, Ryan Cadwallader, and Stefan Knudsen. I feel dang privileged to be in the study group of the most upstanding and bright individuals at this school. And I'm workin' a deal that if I learn to golf with them, they'll come to the desert and learn about all that with me. Haven't quite got the consideration worked out...

OK, John Asked another question: basically, how does the mind work? Is it governed by a single central processor, or are there thousands of "central processors" throughout. See post.

Here was my answer:

Well, I'm pretty sure that my mind has no single CPU to govern everything. To illustrate, I have a real difficulty listening to music sometimes because later, like when I go to bed, thoughts will be racing around with that same song playing in the background. It happens with everything from REM to Arcade Fire to The Dimes...not so much with Ben Arthur or Classical music. The music is somehow lodged in my stream of consciousness in a strong way, apart from everything else that is going on... In those situations it takes alot of mental effort to "unplug" whatever cable got stuck in there. The frustrating result is that I am kind of an insomniac.

I often tell my wife that I think my brain is just a ton of loose cables floating around in a sea of memory and imagination, sprinkled here and there with strong determination. I do my best to keep a good amount of cables near that determination part. All the time cables are connecting two points and I have a stream of thoughts as a result. Simultaneously another cable might make a connection, adding to the flow of thoughts. Like a flute adding to the music of a violin, except my thoughts are way more garbled, and less pretty. Its more like playing CNN at the same time as CSPAN. Maybe. Then when the thoughts slow down a little the cable will disconnect and float off to be of use somewhere else. Sometimes with music it doesn't disconnect.

The REAL problem is that there are way too many cables going around, and whne lots of them randomly connect all at once, my mouth tries to fill in the gap of being THE central processor. While a kamanjah might sound good in a proper setting, it doesn't belong in the Turkish March.

Maybe I should also compare it to a partly cloudy city powered by photovoltaics. All the time sunlight is peeking through in spots and powering up different stuff, which in turn interacts with the other parts of the city in all sorts of ways. Like through email, cell phone, even the neighbors AC, or whatever you can do with the burst of electricity. Those interactions are what I'm talking about with "cables." The people (or "things") on each end of the connection are memory and imagination, etc. I feel like my thoughts result from those interactions.

So the question is, why do I not have complete control over those clouds? Or the people in the city for that matter? I know I have some, even possibly alot, of control. I can focus pretty heavily on what I'm learning, especially if it excites me. Or get me to tell a snowboarding or climbing anecdote and my thoughts are nearly 100% focused. No sunlight on any other part of the city, just that fun memory and a little bit of exaggerative imagination. But most of the time other stuff will pop in unexpected. Sometimes alot of it. That is kind of a stinker, like when I am noticeably distracted from a one on one conversation.
Rude.

Anyhow, I am somewhat proud of my city. I try and keep it clean, and I try and keep it growing in a good way. Unfortunately there are too many parts out of repair, Like my Japanese section. Or Arabic. I've got a ton of Japanese people in my city, all throughout making connections to a lot of things. But the "Little Tokyo" branch of the city library is in complete shambles, not having seen even a new magazine in years, let alone good attractive reading material. Same with the restaurants and even the homes. Sadly most of the good folks that used to live there have up and left. One day I hope I can renew that neighborhood, and get things poppin again. But in the meantime they have spreac out, and now they have neighbors who love mountaineering in the North Cascades, or who can recite the Restatement (second) on Contracts like nothin. (I wish there were more of those guys... actually, I wish there was even one of those guys.) When those neighbors have electrical interactions, interesting things happen.

I don't know if I have main processors for certain things, maybe more like somewhat thicker cables that are harder to move around so they generally stay in the same area. Like typing. My fingers are moving over the board repetitiously, and they've been doing that alot lately. But to me its not like a processor operating off of files pulled into the RAM. Every once and a while I use my pointer finger to hit the "p"...Where the heck does that come from? I think it is my cable drifting a little bit. That cable is pretty heavy, but not impossible to move.

Consider my Japanese population, interspersed everywhere. Is each person a processor, because they can make connections in all their various ways? Or are they physically all in the same spot inside my head, so that area of grey matter "is" the central processor? I dunno.

If I had to subscribe to one of your two views, I would choose the blue pill. I mean number two, the "many CPU" theory. But that is entirely based on my own thought patterns.

Crazy question, and an even crazier answer. haha. Since you just came over and released me from the obligation of writing more I'll end. Hope this journey "through the looking glass" was along the lines of what you were thinking.

Art

October 9, 2008 12:59 PM

Off topic of the MBHC theme of this blog, here is a "comment" that I posted to a fellow Ave Maria 1L's blog. see watsonwebsite.blogspot.com. The picture hopefully helps generate some more mbhc flavoring. (Can anyone guess where specifically it was taken?) The post is in line with how intensly the mbhc are supposed to be pondering... Just some thoughts:

If we had a perfect faith would we sin? Could we sin truly knowing the dire consequences involved with acting against God?

In short, if faith then no; if knowledge then yes. Perfect faith would imply action completely aligned with the will of God, and therefore sin would be irrelevant. But if we were just acting on knowledge, then

To clarify that answer, I was going to try and distinguish between what I take "perfect faith" to be, and what "knowledge" is. But after a week of trying to wrestle it out, I still feel like I haven't wrapped my head around it. But that's OK, these are just off the top of my head thoughts, right.

OK, first, by knowledge I do not refer to the “Knowledge of God” (Prov 2:5, Hosea 6:6, Eph 4:13, Col 1:10) which is too much akin to perfect faith. Yes, I am clearly deviating from scripture here. Luther would probably not approve, but bear with me.

Let me define knowledge in a very basic way, like simply external, physical experience. Like “I watched that tree fall,” or “I saw that tree fall on TV,” or “I was hiking in the forest, and a ways off I saw a movement that could be reasonably interpreted as a falling tree, and the noise I heard strengthens that conclusion,” or even “I was told by a man that I respect greatly that trees can fall.” These kind of stimulus outside of your own thinking are what I consider knowledge. Like seeing words in a book, or watching a graph on a computer screen change while you are conducting an experiment in the underground lab at BYU, or feeling the pull back into your seat as you push on the gas pedal. This is knowledge.

Faith, on the other hand, involves the decisions we make, sometimes based on knowledge, and sometimes not based on knowledge. For example, Faith would be my decision that vanadium dioxide does in fact exhibit a phase change with hysteresis induced by temperature. I base that faith, that decision, on the countless hours I spent in the underground lab (at BYU) watching a computer screen display data from an experiment that I built on a program that I wrote. The knowledge came from seeing the data, the faith came from deciding on what I had seen.

Faith is the decision about whether or not you are accelerating based on what you see, hear and feel as you punch the accelerator. Faith is your decision that trees are mortal and can die and fall over, based on what you have seen, or have been told, etc.

Faith can be good or bad. Obviously one can decide on a principle correctly or incorrectly based on a number of factors. To me, the good version of faith is when a CORRECT conclusion is reached, according to Heavenly Father's judgment. “Bad” faith isn't necessarily immoral or evil faith, just incorrect in some way. To illustrate, consider the person flipping on the light switch. Maybe in the past they have flipped the switch thousands of times, and every time the light has come on. Based on that, they may conclude that every time the light is switched on, the light will “automatically” turn on. In this they would be incorrect, and the faith would be “bad.” There conclusion needs to account for the possibility of a lack of electricity in the circuit that may prevent the light from going on even when the switch is flipped. Good faith would be a conclusion that flipping on a light switch has the possibility of turning the light on.

Maybe the persons lack of knowledge influenced the incorrect decision, and also it really wasn't that far off, because most of the time the light does come on. Those two points are, however, irrelevant. Their conclusion was not correct. Only correct faith can be good.

I'm somewhat straying from the topic with that analogy, but it exemplifies soooo many different situations where people are questioning God because their own faith turned out to be incorrect.

Faith can also be developed not on knowledge, but also by reasoning or spiritual prompting. I think every Christian, Muslim, or Jew must admit at some fundamental level one or the other. Somehow we have to bridge the gap from the mortal to the immortal. Excepting theophany, we have to at some point say, “I have no direct knowledge of this,” and either go on our reasoning or some kind of spiritual prompting that God exists. In the underground lab, I didn't put my hand on the VO2 and “feel” its change in temperature and resistivity, or watch it with my eyes. I would not have been able to see or feel any of it. All I could do was watch my computer screen, and then reason about what all the data meant.

There is a difference, in that faith based on reason is rather weak, easily overturned. As reasoning skills get better, it gets stronger, but it can never match the impenetrable nature of faith based on spiritual prompting. I say “prompting,” but I mean a spiritual experience apart from the physical “seeing, hearing, touching,” etc. I won't go into why reasoned faith is weak, but I hope everyone can see clearly that it is true.

SO back to the main point, “Perfect Faith” means to me an all encompassing correct faith derived from a spiritual experience. Consider the one who is taught every single doctrine possible, learns it inside and out, gains external knowledge about all of it by observation, experiment, etc, and reasons completely and correctly about everything. This person would know it all, and even have a correct faith, but because he lacks in the spiritual aspect, his faith would not be perfect. I believe this person could still go against the will of God, and fall away.

I'm not sure how the adversary falls into this picture. I'm sure his knowledge of eternal law is complete, and he knows physics through and through. He knows the dictionary of heaven by heart, etc. But I think somewhere along the line his conclusions about the mind of God went astray (Moses 4:6), therefore his faith started developing holes and inaccuracies, which distinguishes him from the know it all. Clearly satan doesn't know it all. This “bad faith” continued building until a moment of massive error, and now we say: “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!” (Isa. 14: 12)

Perfect faith does not need to involve 'knowledge' of everything. Nor does it require any amount of reasoning. It must simply be correct, encompass everything, and be based in the spirit. Simple...haha. This person would still have moral agency to choose for themselves, but they would never choose anything contrary to the will of God. I want to mention pride as a big factor in ruining it, but correct faith regarding humility is encompassed in “perfect” faith.

So I've explained the “what” of my thoughts without really touching the “why.” Sorry it took over a week to write this, and its probably still all wrong. And double sorry that it probably took a week to read this because its so long. Thanks for asking the question, Mr. Watson:)

Art

September 30, 2008 12:42 PM

Here are some pictures of the family... I ain't braggin', but my family is awesome.







Eli had his dreams fulfilled when randomly an ambulance driver invited Eli and Wesley to see the inside of an ambulance. Needless to say, such recruiting practices are sure effective in this group.

Here are some nostalgic pictures I took while living here in Provo. Just remembering...

Sheesh. I really am feeling sentimental. Different pictures that I took of BYU campus, from the mountains:

Inspired by Matt Beatty, I decided to post a picture of my own earth art. Its a little "grim reaper"-esque, and its definitely not an Andy Goldswothy, but I thought it was cool.

Frogs and Sunflowers

I am headed to Ave Maria School of Law, and I realize I am going to miss this beautiful place that I live in right now. Here are some pictures from just around our house:

Knotted Rope Canyon
I did this canyon once after a storm, and it was fun but easy to just swim across all of these great pools. Only spanned one narrow gap. This time it was dry as a bone, and I was amazed at how deep some of those potholes were. We spanned tons of stuff. Nothing difficult, but it was a taste of how canyons can bring unexpected surprises no matter how many times you've done it before. We brought a 100m rope for the ultimate alternate finish, but opted against it for time sake. Its a beautiful hike.

Got down and did Heaps a second time, with five other guys, only two of whom had ever done it before...I was worried that it would be another "struggle to survive" experience, but everyone was extremely capable, and we had a GREAT time. Different experience altogether compared with last time. Water was a little bit higher which made things nice, and I did not let anyone borrow my wetsuit... Its amazing what twice as much neoprene will do to keep your body feelin' comfy. Here are some pictures...

Wow, a year since my last post. Just trying to graduate I guess. Here is something cool that I saw in Zion National Park last month:

Cascade Mountain Backcountry

Well, its time to sell the good old Land Cruiser. It was my dream to own one, and my wife's dream as well, but we have both decided to get a more kid friendly and gas friendly car. The LC only gets about 11 miles to the gallon. That sorta goes against the tree hugger side of me. Here is a tribute to the most amazing vehicle I've ever owned.

We went to Pt. Reyes National Seashore with Sierra's fam over the holiday. It was amazingly rainy and beautiful. Eli was a huge trooper the whole way, despite the look on his face in this picture. It was a beautiful trip.

I don't know why I didn't publish this post 2 years ago when I saved it as a draft, but here it is.

Baptist Draw into Chute Canyon, and up out the back door. Temp at night while sleeping was easily below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Tested my old sleeping bag's temperature rating (0 degrees). Lucky I had a biv sac, or I would have froze. In the daytime not so bad, but still pretty cold. All of the puddles but one were frozen solid. Total hiking time about 4 hours...was it worth the drive? I thought so...

Thanks to Brendan for a good shot of me rappin' into Chute. Shots of me don't happen as much anymore, so this was a pleasant surprise.

Here it is, the next big adventure. Englestead Hollow has been postponed to try and do "The Grand Traverse"...

One side to the other, across the Timpanogos Massif. Click on the image to make it bigger.

Tomorrow I hope to get down to Zion and do Imlay Canyon, the canyon of all canyons, this very Saturday...Unfortunately, the weather forcast is pretty dismal looking, and any chance of rain would shut me down. I've done Imlay only once before, 2 years ago with Dan Myers. I have since done quite a few canyons, leading all but one of them, and I feel ready to take two of my friends through this adventure. I'll post a pic of our trip when its over.

ZION
Sierra and I hiked Talyor Creek last week up to the "Double Arch Alcove", which actually doesn't even have one real arch. We left early, and made it there and almost back before the first of the crowds got there, and in the last fifteen minutes of our hiking we probably passed about 25 people on their way to the same spot. I also went a little ways (about a mile) up the canyon which is next in line to the south of this one, just to explore. It looks like a real winner, but I told Sierra I would be back in 15 minutes, and I can only jog so fast...

Eli really loved this hike, and I am excited for a summer full of trips with him to the most beautiful places on the earth, or at least the most beautiful places in Utah. Maybe Eli would like Imlay Canyon...? ;)

Flip Time

Last week Josh Heck and I were almost to the top of squaw peak, when time cut us off. Our wives wanted us home within about 20 minutes of this picture. Those who know where we are know this is possible but only by sprinting down the entire way...Anyhow, we couldn't let a good opportunity go to waste. Josh actually did a backflip, but I don't want to look less cool than him, hence no picture:) (actually his sweatshirt makes him look like an upside-down blur, and I have to get to class right now, so I'm jost not posting it...)

The Y Mount

John B Hoyt and I climbed Y mountain this Saturday in just about 2 hours. At first we were headed straight up the west face, but came to a tricky spot and decided to cut around to the south face and just take the easy walk to the top. The first pic is coming around the corner between the two faces, and the second is on the top of the mountain. You can see a pretty good storm cloud on Mount Nebo in the background.

Muddy Creek...

On Tuesday of last week Dan Myers and I went to the San Rafael Reef and did the "Squeeze" which is the first canyon directly southwest of the muddy creek gorge. Part of the stipulation for our trip was speediness, so that we would not be gone from our wives for very long. Therefore we did not take many pictures in the canyon.

However, there were some sweet moments of photographic wonder. Here is a shot of the gorge that I particularly like.
The canyon itself was purely gorgeous, but pictures will have to come some other time.

Spanish Fork Reservoir
~

We went swimming last Friday at a new spot. It's pretty fun. A little crowded and not too big, but the water is wonderfully cold, and deep.

August 5, 2005

I just wanted to say sorry for not having any great adventures to post here since I made this blog. My wife is due in 2 months, and even camping is kinda difficult for her. She is my adventure buddy, so if she doesn't go, I really don't want to either. There has been one exception, where I took Eva and Devin through icebox canyon about a month and a half ago. But other than that, since I've been married to Sierra I haven't gone on any adventure by myself.

I never want to become one of those husbands who ditches his wife and kids for a week to go play with his buddies in some exotic place, and by exotic I mean freezing, snowy, and wonderfully windy. I think if there's an adveture worth having, its worth having with your loved ones.

This doesn't always work though. Sometimes I end up dragging people places that are actually much too difficult for their enjoyment, and thereby ruin the experience for them. And that really ruins the experience for me too. If I take someone to a place that I love, to do something that I love, hoping that they will love it too, it really breaks my heart when they end up not loving it. Its like sharing your testimony with a friend, only to have them later become and anti-mormon.

Now that Sierra is pregnant, I think the likelyhood of this occurence is much stronger than before. So far in our marriage she has been so patient with me and has loved every place I've dragged her...but I need to use discretion.

So I think that if extreme circumstances warrant, I'll take a trip every now and then to some crazy place without my wife. Like in October when Dan comes back from Kiev and we do Heaps Canyon in Zion like crazy fools...! (...just kidding Dan, we can do whatever you want, but I doubt you want to freeze to death in the pitch black of that place...)

Anyhow, excuses aside, expect some cool pics or postings within a week.

Art

My Wife

Here are a few pictures of my wonderful wife Sierra. I argue that she is the most beautiful girl ever. There are some great girls out there, some of which I am priveledged to be friends with and some who are my sisters, but Sierra takes the cake. Tell me if you agree, or in other words, tell me how good your eyesight is. :)

MBHC

I would here like to mention what MBHC stands for. A quick Google search on the internet will give you Miami Behavioral Health Center and Mennonite Brethren something something along with much more. Unfortunately none of these are correct.

The real meaning of the acronym MBHC is "Mount Baker Hard Core"... It refers to a rare breed of human that resides mostly in the vicinity of the North Cascades with some subspecies being migratory for various reasons. And there is also an extremely rare case where individuals are born in entirely different environments, and have possibly never been to the North Cascades, but their DNA code contains all the right elements and its only a matter of time before they develop into a mature specimen.

The first person to categorize the MBHC was definitely not me. I'm not exactly sure how far it goes back. I first heard the expression from my good friend Nathan Walker, and he might know the original source. He might actually be the original source. Others who might know include Pete and Austin Gallant, Kipton Nichols, and Zack Smith.

If you have ever been skiing or snowboarding at the Mount Baker Ski Resort on a very stormy day, just before you headed in early you might have glimpsed through the fog and the wind some lone skier cruising down the steeps. Then the vision passes, the clouds swirl about you, and you remember that you fingertips are in the beginning stages of frostbite, so you head down to the lodge. What you saw up there was an MBHC.

Thriving in condition that most other humans despise, the MBHC come out in the worst of all storms. They are also known for their physical prowess, most of the time being too fast to observe for very long. They climb, snowshoe, mountain bike (ethically), kayak, and of course ski, telemark included. Sometimes there are snowboarders, but those are a select few in that most would-be MBHC snowboarders are seduced by the more punkish crowd that prefer a hamburger in the lodge to an icy blast of sleet on the mountain top. The migrant species are somewhat different, involving activities like canyoneering, surfing, and so forth.

There is much more involved with the MBHC, such as environmental awareness, loyalty to the other MBHC, and a cunning that far surpasses even most physics professors. The underlying foundation is the same in all MBHC. It can even be observed simply in everyday attitude. But for the sake of brevity, let it stand that the name is for real, not just for fun. So now you have somewhat of an idea of what MBHC means.

SIERRA


Here is a shot of my wife and car. Its too bad the mountain in the background is just Timp and not Shuksan or Baker... But the focal point is that beautiful woman in the red sweater. Sierra Rachel Brown. She is one of those rare cases of MBHC that has never actually seen Mount Baker. But nobody worry, the day is fast approaching when she will see that wonderful place and I am confident the urge will hit her like a ton of bricks to head up and go live for two weeks in a snowcave on the slopes of that blessed mountain, and then return many times.

But even if that weren't to happen quite exactly in that manner, I would still love her a ton! And I think the one person in the world who would qualify for an honorary MBHC title would have to be her. Trust me, she is amazing!

DAN MYERS


This is Dan. He is definitely MBHC, but he has yet to come with me on a crazy trip through the North Cascades. There are few guys I know that are as fast, tough, smart, or as cool as this guy right here. And there are definitely none cooler!

TELIA


Here is Sierra's sister Telia, towards the end of Quandary Canyon in the San Rafael Reef in southern Utah. Telia is one tough cookie, and depending on her love of snow, she might very well be another MBHC without even knowing it.

She is posing in this shot, not painfully dangling on the verge of consciousness.

GAYLEEN, MY SISTER

My Bro "P"

Let me just say a little bit about this young gentleman. He is smart, funny, smart, athletic, smart, daring, and did I mention smart? Yeah, well, he is. I hate to admit it, but despite my double major in Math and Physics, Phillip will end up being about 100 times smarter than I am. Luckily I'm still faster and stronger than he is...wink, wink:) However, something that might interests the ladies in him over me is the fact that he's still single...Haha! Here are a few more pictures:

THE BIG W

RANDOM PICTURES

Here are some pictures I like, and that either my wife
or I took with our own camera.

The butterfly was in rock canyon, along with the waterflow, which is Rock Canyon Creek at a raging torrent of 10 cfs.








The sunset is at a friends cabin at
Brighton.

Then comes me in the famous
“kitchen” trying to get past a
pretty tough overhang. It certainly
feels great to wonder
how your wife is belaying you
while taking your picture.



My two brothers are in the next
picture, Wayne and Phillip
(P for short, who is the creator
of the sting of pearls…)




The Manti Temple is really pretty,
especially when its over-exposed.
But hey, won’t that pretty much be
what the celestial kingdom is like
anyway?




Finally comes Baptist Draw in the San Rafael Reef,
and Bridal Veil falls, up Provo Canyon.

Enjoy!

me


Here is me in Japan, teaching them how to "grass sled" MBHC style. Yes, that is a necktie, and no, that isn't a fake shot. I really am getting about 10 feet of air. A Nihonjin friend of mine tried the same thing and sliced a 6 inch gash in the top of his hand. Ganbatte Ishida Choro!

advice...

if you end up in some motel in boise, do your best...